Aktivnosti u shopping centru

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Najprije, kako izgleda promjena aktivnosti ili mjesta kod Vašeg djeteta, pogotovo u veliki, blješteći, glasni i napućeni trgovački centar? Potrči li Vaše dijete unutra ili se počne ritati i bacakati još u autu čim ste skrenuli na parkiralište od tog centra? Neka Vam Vaš odgovor bude polazište za ovo iskustvo.

Ako Vaše dijete ne voli ići po trgovačkim centrima, ne morate to izbjegavati. Učinite to postepeno prateći djetetove reakcije. Ako se Vaše dijete počne derati već na parkiralištu, neka vam onda to bude i cilj – sigurno parkiranje auta, ali ne i izlazak iz njega. Idući put probajte izaći iz auta, ali ne i otići u centar, možda svega do ulaznih vrata. Ono što je tu bitno je da uvijek kažete djetetu mirnim glasom (šapčući ako je dijete preosjetljivo na zvuk) koji je Vaš plan. Želite da Vaše dijete i dalje ima kontrolu nad situacijom koja mu se očito ne sviđa. Kada dijete uvidi da kontrolira situacijom, stvari će teći glađe. Ako im se čini da se situacija odvija prebrzo, da gube tu kontrolu postat će nervozni i možda će nastupiti tantrum i bacanje po podu. Dakle, samo glasno komentirajte svoj plan bez obzira koliko je Vaše dijete staro i bez obzira na to što možda mislite da Vas ono ne razumije; “sada ćemo se sparkirati ovdje lijevo i onda će mama ugasiti auto. Vidi, gasim! 1…2…3.. auto je ugašen”. Možete koristiti jednostavnije ili kraće rečenice ako je Vaše dijete manje ili ako je veće ili verbalno, možete unijeti još detalja i dapače uključiti ih u brojanje ili dati im izbor gdje da parkirate auto. Uključivanje djeteta u ovakve aktivnosti daje im pouzdanje i kontrolu koja im je vrlo potrebna.

Kada dođete unutar trgovačkog centra, uzmite vremena da svom nervoznom djetetu obratite pozornost na to što je oko njega, ono će se tako opet osjećati bolje i imat će kontrolu. Ako je Vaše dijete malo, možete ga podići i komentirati što sve vidite; svijetla, kafiće, ukrase, čujete glazbu u pozadini, vidite dućane, kolica, ljude itd. Dajte mu minutu, dvije da spozna te stvari oko sebe. Kada vidite da je u redu, nastavite sa svojim planom. Vjerojatno idući put nećete morati prolaziti kroz ovu situaciju, ali ako ćete morati i to je u redu. Samo dajte djetetu vremena. Ako niste u mogućnosti izdvojiti to vrijeme ili krenuti u centar ranije, a budimo realni, često smo u velikoj gužvi, radije ostavite dijete s nekim drugim nego da ga bespotrebno “vučete” na mjesto gdje se ono ne osjeća ugodno.

Danas većinom svi trgovački centri imaju dječje igraonice gdje se djeca mogu igrati dok odrasli obavljaju svoje kupovine. Neke imaju pravila o ostavljanju djeteta samim u igraonici, neke se plaćaju, neke su besplatne, ali su svakako odličan izvor senzornih podražaja. Veće igraonice imaju i sprave za penjanje, bazene s lopticama, tobogane i tunele. Iskoristite to! Provjerite najprije je li Vaše dijete preosjetljivo na zvukove. Ako je, izaberite trenutak kada je u igraonici manje glasne djece. Jednako vrijedi i za djecu koja su prekomjerno vizualno osjetljiva na micajuće podražaje. Ako mnogo djece trči oko Vašeg djeteta, ono se može “zalediti” i ne uživati na ovako zabavnom mjestu. Ja bih najprije izabrala sprave i aktivnosti koje dijete poznaje dok ne spozna prostor, ljude oko sebe i svoje mogućnosti u tom prostoru. Kada Vam se čini da je dijete u redu, možete predložiti nove aktivnosti s kojima inaće ne bi bilo oduševljeno. Polako i postepeno. Najbolje je dati djetetu da odluči i napravi aktivnost prvo koristeći svoju kreativnost i motoričko planiranje, ali ako Vaše dijete treba dodatni poticaj, možete i Vi to učiniti prvi.

Girl in a tunnel. Permission acquired from the parents.
Girl in a tunnel. Permission acquired from the parents.

Ako nemate vremena za igraonicu ili ju Vaš trgovački centar ne nudi, pokušajte uključiti svoje dijete u poslove koje morate obaviti. Djeca koja trebaju dodatni ravnotežni podražaj će se voliti voziti u shopping kolicima u dućanu i na taj način može stavljati namirnice i proizvode u kolica. Dajte djetetu da izabere između dva ili tri proizvoda koja se tiću njega: koji sok ili koje pahuljice kupiti. Ali, ograničite izbor na dva ili tri artikla pogotovo za manju djecu ili ona koja još nisu verbalna.

Ako Vaše dijete voli brzo izmijenjivati aktivnosti, pokušajte brže završiti Vašu kupovinu da ne podražujete dijete prekomjerno. Ne morate odmah napustiti dućan, možete malo pokušati produljiti vrijeme izlaganju, ali nemojte pretjerivati. Vidjet ćete znakove na djetetu kada mu je dosta; odbija suradnju, izgleda kao da mu je dosadno ili da je umorno, vuče se po podu, moli vas da odete doma pa sve do bacanja po podu dućana. Neka djeca pređu ovaj spektar znakova vrlo brzo, dok neka odmah pređu na plakanje. Sigurna sam da poznavajući vlastito dijete znate što je najbolje za napraviti u toj situaciji, otići ili ostati u dućnu – ali ispravnu stvar nije uvijek lako i moguće napraviti, znam!

Activities in the park

Parks are an endless source of sensory input, sometimes easily over stimulating the child, but also a possible endless source of fun, too!

If I asked you what does your park have, what would you say? Would you say: a swing, a slide and a sand box? If your park has all that, that’s awesome. If your park doesn’t have that, if you don’t have a park at all, that’s ok, too! You as a person are more than enough :) what is not so obvious is that parks or some green areas in your neighborhood have tree leaves that are especially in the Fall season colorful (visual), they make noise (audio), if taken in hand they can be a great source of tactile input. Some are dry and make a crisp sound, others are wet and usually not well appreciated among both kids and adults. Who wants dirty hands, right? If your child doesn’t speak, you can help him/her imitate the shhhh sounds of those leaves, too. If you take a few beautiful and colorful leaves home, you can make some creative art. From unusual decorations on a gift box, or sorting them by color or size to making them into powder (the dried ones) and using it to form new shapes (gluing the powder on paper in a shape, mixing it with water etc). I tried making an Indian coloring art called rangoli out of different colors of fallen leaves. Unfortunately I don’t have a photo to share with you. So, all this is just from leaves, and we didn’t even enter a park!
Let’s go inside and hit the swings, the most popular thing in the park. Or at least sharing the first place with the slide. Since there’s a high demand for a swing, sometimes kids have to wait for their turn, right? That mostly means either shout: “I wanna goooo!” Or cry until the child on the swing leaves. Older parks, at least here in Croatia, have those kinds of swings that swing you only forward-backward.

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More modern parks nowadays have those disks made out if rope which one can swing in any direction including rotations (in some cases).

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Swinging a child (also applicable for putting a baby to sleep) in different directions gives their brains different information or better to say, different sensory input. Forward-backward swinging mostly affects the frontal cortex whose primary task is thinking while left-right swinging mostly affects the balance part of the brain.
Aside from actual swinging, you may practice planning and sequencing with your child. Especially if you have more children. Let them wait their turn starting from short period of waiting to progressively longer. Ask your child to list you the order of children in which they will go on a swing. This you can also do on a slide, but in addition, you can ask your child to verbally describe how they want to slide down – on their backs / tummies, upside down etc. Once they are up there on a slide, you can have the child count one, two, threeee… and then go down.Then change the rhythm. Oneeee, two, threeee… Another popular item in the park is the sand box. Sand gives a very strong sensory input. It has no obvious boundaries so childrens’ reactions to sand are similar to those of the shaving foam: fear, disgust, vomiting, etc. depending on your child’s sensory profile. You may make this game intriguing to a child who doesn’t like sand on their hands by putting some small objects or toys into the sand pit and ask the child to take it out. Digg deep! It can be anything from small balls to small rubber animals or blocks. Another suggestion is to make the sand wet by adding some water. Do it progressively and observe your child’s reactions. Does your child like it better when the sand was dry or when it was a cookie dough or perhaps when it is completely muddy? After you are done squeezing the sand through your fingers, you may take some shapes and create imprints in sand.

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You may also use equipment in the park to make a polygon. Give your child a toy and specific instructions on how to overcome all the obstacles and have them put the toy in the basket in the end of the polygon. That will give a meaning to this string of activities and obstacles a child has to go through.

 

 

Activities in a shopping center

verzija na hrvatskom jeziku (in Croatian language)

First of all, how does an entrance to a new place, especially a big, shiny, loud, crowded place such as a shopping center affect your child? Does your child rush into it or has a meltdown as soon as your car makes a turn to the shopping center’s parking lot? Take your answer to this question as a guide to your shopping center experience.

If your child does not like going into the malls, you don’t have to avoid it. Do it gradually and observing child’s reactions. If your child starts screaming at the parking lot, try making that your goal – safely parking the car, but not exiting from it. Next time, try exiting the car but not going inside the mall, but perhaps until the main entrance. What is important is that you always tell your child in a calm voice (whisper to those overly stimulated to sounds) what is your agenda. You want your child to be in a control over the situation. When the child feels they are in control, things will get a lot easier. If they feel activities are too fast for them, if they are loosing that control, they will become upset, anxious and perhaps even have a tantrum. So, just comment on your plan to your child no matter how old they are and no matter how much you think they can comprehend; “we will park in the spot right here on the left and then mommy will turn off the car. I’m doing it, look, 1…2…3… car is off”. You can use simpler sentences, or break it apart in more smaller ones or if your child is bigger, you can add more details. If your child is verbal, you can have them count or choose the parking spot. Engaging your child in these simple activities gives them confidence and control they badly need to stay regulated.

Once you slowly get inside the mall, take a moment to see what is around you to make your anxious child feel better and back in control. You can take your child in your arms if they are small and tell them what you see around them; lights, coffee places, ornaments, music playing in the background, shops, carts, people, etc. Give a minute or two to your child to comprehend what is going on around them. When you see the moment is right, continue to your chores. Most likely next time you will not have to go through this process again. If you do, that’s ok, too. Give your child the time they need. If you are not able to take those few minutes extra, or start early, and let’s be realistic, we are sometimes on a very tight schedule, rather leave your child with somebody else and not “drag” them into a place  where they will feel uncomfortable.

Nowadays, most of the larger malls have some sort of playground for children to play at while parents are doing their shopping. Some have rules about leaving your child unattended, some are paid, some are free but most of them are a good source of sensory input. Larger playgrounds have all kinds of climbing equipment, ball pits, slides and tunnels. Use it! See if your child is overly sensitive to sounds. If it is, then choose a moment when there are less loud children around. Same goes with children who are overly sensitive to moving visual stimuli. If there is a lot of running children around, your child might freeze and not enjoy this fun playground. At first, I would choose some activities there that your child is familiar with, just to get some confidence in the space and its own possibilities. Once you feel your child is ok with the environment, you can propose going to an activity your child is not very thrilled about. Slowly and gradually. It’s always good to leave it up to your child to do it first so they use their own creativity and motor planning on how to achieve the goal of that activity, but if you see your child needs some encouragement, you can do it yourself first.

Girl in a tunnel. Permission acquired from the parents.
Girl in a tunnel. Permission acquired from the parents.

If you have no time for the playground or there isn’t one at your mall, try engaging your child in the chores you need to do. Children who need vestibular input can enjoy a ride in the shopping cart plus they can easily put the groceries into the cart itself. Let them choose out of the two products that are relevant to them; e.g. which juice or cereals to buy. However, limit your options to two or three to choose from for smaller children, especially those that do not use verbal language.

If your child likes changing activities very often, try to do your shopping chores quickly because we don’t want to overstimulate the child. You do not have to leave the store right away, try prolonging the period for one activity, but do not go overboard. You will see the signs from your child: not engaging in your activities anymore (“getting bored”), looking tired, dragging themselves on the floor, asking you to leave, “nagging” and everything else up to a tantrum. Sometimes children go through the spectrum of signs very quickly, and some children skip to crying right away. I’m sure knowing your child, you will instinctively know what is the right thing to do in that moment; leaving or staying – but the right thing is not always easy or possible, I know.

Activities at home

Verzija na hrvatskom jeziku (In Croatian language)

Your house or apartment is the place your child knows the best. They will always act a little bit different at home than in the other places. Children whose body schemes are not yet fully developed will feel more relaxed and secured in an environment they know well. So, trying out new activities will work better at home.

We know that when you are at home, you most likely need to take care of the household; laundry, dishes, breakfast, lunch and dinner (especially if your child or other family member requires special diet), cleaning etc. So, you cannot constantly play with your child. That’s ok! However, that doesn’t mean the child cannot get the sensory input they need. Make your home sensory friendly and let the child be drawn to the input they need. Please, make sure you do not overstimulate your child. I cannot emphasize enough how unique each child is and how differently they react to each activity. Even the same child might react to the same stimulus differently at different times. What was fun and amusing in the morning might become the worst enemy five minutes later or by the end of the day. And that’s ok, too! Easier said than done, but all you need to do is observe your child through the sensory glasses.

You can designate a part of your home or child’s room to specific stimulus (tactile, vestibular…). Some parents I work with even made sensory rooms in their basements. This will enable your child to get the sensory stimulus they need easily. However, because the point is to integrate the stimuli, we can always add some spice to it. If your child really wants to swing, rotate or walk on something high, they are most likely looking for some vestibular stimulation. Let them have it for a moment and slowly engage them in another activity, perhaps a song, or some body schema activities or some visual fun.

girl playing with water
Girl (15 months old) playing with water and moist cloth, using these materials to engage in pretend play. As she is still new on her feet, I added sandy’s step factory product popularly called “room beach” for her to stand on, instead of a plain concrete backyard floor.
Permission to post this girl’s photo acquired from her parents.

To be more specific: while your child is swinging have them throw some pillows of different weight into a basket, or have them sing a song in the rhythm of the swing. If you don’t have a swing, you can easily make one out of a blanket and swing your child in different directions, different rhythms and ask your child if they want more. Always wait for their response: a smile, a cry, a yes or a no, or any kind of movement that will indicate their desire to continue or to stop and be respective of it. These activities might be very short and even though you would love your child to swing for 5 minutes, sometimes a swing or two is just enough for them and please respect it. Your child might be sensitive to this kind of stimulation and you do not want to overstimulate them.

If you need to do your chores around the house and the child needs to be on their own for a while, try giving them a small task that you feel they can do on their own, whether in their rooms or with you in the kitchen. Perhaps you can make a line of obstacles through the house or a hallway that the child needs to overcome to get to the kitchen. Make it in a way that you know your child can actually go through it successfully (not too easy, but not getting them to heavy frustrations). You can also incorporate some additional activities, like finding toys and balls and collecting them into the basket in the end of the line. This will give your child sense of beginning and end, it will give them a purpose and ultimately sense of achievement. That’s why it is very important to make the activity challenging enough, but still possible to overcome.

If your child is still too small to be on their own, or you feel it is not safe for them to be alone, you can have them with you:

in the kitchen, they can play with different textures of foods such as beans, cereals, non cooked pasta, or even sticky dough made of water and flour. If you want to go crazy, why not coloring pieces of that dough with food color and have them make something out of it. If you make your dough harder, a good proprioceptive activity is to pluck a small piece, make it a small ball among your fingertips and stick it to a paper in a shape of a line or a circle, heart etc. Of course, have in mind that all these foods can end up in your child’s mouth so make sure they can use it safely and to use those foods they are not allergic to (e.g. gluten, peanuts…)

If you noticed your child doesn’t like to have dirty hands, this next activity will be very challenging and it might take months for them to accept it, but try introducing it little by little: playing with foam. It is a very tactile sensitive texture that a lot of kids cannot stand at first. Usually it happens because the foam doesn’t have proper edges as it is soft and goes through your fingers easily so the brain is having a hard time defining it. It can get scary, too. Some of the children I worked with even wanted to throw up when they touched the foam. So, be slow, go gradually and don’t force anything. You can use the foam on a mirror or glass door to make shapes, prints and drawings. Some children who are less sensitive to taste like to try the foam, so be careful of what kind of foam you give them (shaving foam, whipped cream etc.)

Girl and a boy playing with shaving foam.  Permission acquired from their parents.
Girl and a boy playing with shaving foam. Permission acquired from their parents.

For those kids who are less sensitive to tactile and proprioceptive inputs, try making or buying an uneven surface to put on the floor where your child plays the most or spends the most time. I love this “sandy step factory” product made by a Croatian orthopedic surgeon, dr. Stosic.

sobna-plaza
Photo acquired from:
http://www.mevjema.com/index.php/proizvodi/ostali-proizvodi/sobna-plaza-detail

You can use your creativity and try making a surface on your own. How about if you used a duvet cover and filled it up with small balls or granulated styrofoam. This is a safe place for your child to jump on (unless the balls are too hard!), walk over, crawl over, roll over or just lay down on. Or just give your bean bags another role.

Check out Making the house sensory friendly post for more ideas!